Two people living similar events in the same place can have completely different experiences. Sometimes life is what you make it. We have to verify that reality matches our perception of reality. Having a positive attitude and choosing to do the next right thing helps.
How people “frame” their life experiences determines if they are built up or broken. If we allow a bad experience with the opposite sex, a culture, type of animal, etcetera ruin all future experiences with that group … we are losing out. When a person stops judging things that happen as “good” or “bad” they are going to be more open and benefit from the past. We don’t know why things happen as they do and have a perspective limited to being in a body with 5 senses locked into space and time. Consider this common Chinese story:
A farmer and his son have a horse they loved run away. Everyone commented how bad that was. The farmer said, “Maybe so, maybe not.” A couple days later the horse came back and brought some wild horses with him. Everyone applauded and said this was a wonderful thing. The farmer said, “Maybe so, maybe not.” As the farmer’s son was trying to train one of the horses he was thrown and broke his leg. Everyone thought this was terrible. The farmer said, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Not long after the army began drafting soldiers and the farmer’s son was passed over due to his broken lag. Again, the farmer refused to se the situation as either good or bad and instead commented: “Maybe so, maybe not.”
A tree grows regardless of what is going on around it. Drama and difficult times will always come and go. Be like a tree. Put down roots and absorb the good stuff, thicken your trunk to withstand the wind and turn your leaves to the sun for inspiration.